Forever Bentley: A Mother's Journey Through Grief

I haven’t written in a while.

Not because I’ve had nothing to say… but because sometimes the words feel too heavy to untangle.

Grief has a way of silencing things. Not all at once — but slowly, quietly. And before I knew it, weeks had passed. Then months. And the blog that once felt like a safe place to pour my heart started to feel like a mountain I wasn’t sure how to climb again.

But I’m still here. Still grieving. Still missing my son with every fiber of my being.

Bentley’s absence hasn’t gotten any easier. I think I just carry it differently now. Some days, I carry it with strength. Other days, it carries me — drags me, really — through waves of pain I didn’t see coming.

I’ve had moments where I’ve laughed. I’ve had days where I didn’t cry. And yet, those moments are always followed by guilt, like somehow joy dishonors the weight of my loss. I know that’s not true, but grief is complicated like that.

I don’t really have a big message in this post. Just… I’m still here. I’m still standing. I’m still loving Bentley, and I’m still trying to figure out how to live a life that keeps his memory alive.

Thank you to those who have continued to check in. To say his name. To let me take my time.

I haven’t written in a while… but I’m writing now.

And maybe that’s enough for today.

Forever Bentley’s mom 💜