Forever Bentley: A Mother's Journey Through Grief

Today is Wednesday, April 2nd, 2025. That’s 81 days without you.

Eighty-one days without seeing you. Without hugging you. Without telling you I love you. Without tucking you into bed.

FUCK.

I am so angry. I’m so fucking pissed. I just want you back. This is so hard, and it gets harder with each passing day. I need you, son. I need you here with me.

How am I supposed to go on without you?

I never got to properly say goodbye. I told you goodnight. I told you I love you. I told you I’d see you in the morning. But that morning never came. I never got to see you again.

I just don’t understand why. Why you? Why did it have to be you?

I just want to scream. I want to scream so loud. I want to cry, to break everything in sight. I miss you. And there are no words to describe it—no words to describe this pain.

The pain of no longer having my baby.

You.

Bentley Lane, please always know how much I love you.