Forever Bentley: A Mother's Journey Through Grief

Grief has a way of making ordinary moments feel heavier. Some days, it’s the silence that gets to me. Other days, it’s the little things I never saw coming—like today.

For the past three weeks, I’ve noticed a cardinal sitting in the same tree outside. I don’t know why I keep looking for it, but every day, there it is. And then today, something else unexpected happened. I pulled down my car visor, and a gift card fell into my lap—one Bentley had gotten for Christmas. I must have tucked it away and forgotten about it. Until now.

I just sat there for a moment, holding it, feeling the weight of it. It didn’t feel like something I could just spend on anything. It needed to be used for something in his honor—something that keeps his memory present in my everyday life. Maybe a piece of jewelry with his name, maybe something purple for Dravet, maybe something I’ll just know is right when I see it.

These moments, these little things, they matter. I truly believe our loved ones find ways to remind us they’re still with us—we just have to be open to seeing it. Maybe it’s a cardinal in the same tree every day. Maybe it’s an unexpected reminder tucked away, waiting for us to find it when we need it most.

I don’t have an answer yet for what I’ll do with this gift card, but I do know this: that cardinal will probably still be there tomorrow. And Bentley’s love will still be here, too.

Always look for the little things—they want us to see them. Be open-minded to it. It helps. At least, it helps me. And maybe it will help you, too.

With love,

Bentley’s Mom💜